How do you teach value to kids?  I talk all the time about teaching your kids to save, to make choices, to get the basics of frugality.  But I’m really struggling with teaching my daughter how to determine the value of something.  For example, yesterday she wanted to take $3.00 of her allowance to school to spend at the book fair.  She bought a pencil.  Yeah, she paid $3.00 for one pencil.  It was cute, it had cute little topper that is some character that I’d never seen, but she knew who it was.  Fine, whatever.  I didn’t care too much.

Then this morning she wanted another $3.00 so she could buy another pencil.  I tried to explain that $3.00 for one pencil is a lot of money.   That I could take her to Walmart and she could buy 10 pencils for $3.00.  She didn’t care.  I don’t know what she decided to do.  The money is right there she doesn’t need to ask my permission.  So maybe she took some, I don’t know.  I try only to guide her, but let her make her own choices with her allowance.  That was kinda the point in giving it to her.  To let her make her own mistakes.

So I’m curious to know what she did.  I plan to take her to walmart and show her exactly what a pencil should cost.  Maybe even show her what toys of that particular character cost so she can see what her options were.  Instead of spending $6.00 to get that character she could have bought an actual toy.  Lord knows she doesn’t need any more pencils.

Does anyone have any tips?  How did you drive home the point of value vs cost to your kids?

pic by Ralphbijker

Hello!  I’m on my way to the Grand Canyon today.  Mrs. Money over at the Ultimate Money Blog has been kind enough to send a guest post my way.  Great thanks to her and make sure you check out her blog.  It’s definitely worth the read.

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I always thought I would have children before I turned 25. Now that age is getting much closer and it doesn’t look like there will be any children in our very near future. I’ll be honest- I’m a little sad, but not nearly as upset as I thought I would be. While children are a blessing, they are also a lot of work, and I just am not ready for that responsibility yet. With the economy in its current edition, that plays heavy on my mind every day. I go back and forth on whether now (or ever!) is the right time to have a baby.

I am honestly afraid to bring a child into this world with the economy the way it is right now. I know things will never be perfect, but with all the turmoil in the world today, I am really apprehensive about choosing to get pregnant now. What if I lost my job while I was pregnant? What if we weren’t able to make our mortgage payment and bills? I would feel guilty for choosing to have a child and then not able to afford it. What type of a parent does that make me? I want to know that when we do decide to have children that we can 100% afford them. Now, many people tell me that I will never be able to afford a child, and if I wait until then that I won’t ever have kids. I just want to be a little more financially stable.

Kids are so expensive. Sometimes I think about not having kids just because of all the money we’d save. I know it sounds horrible, but I’m being honest here! I know that with all the expenses going out for bills, and then to add a child or two on top of that, it would be a lot more money going out each month! If we didn’t have kids, we would be able to pay off more debt, save more money, and live a more extravagant life. By “extravagant” I mean less strapped for cash. Diapers, clothing, cribs… the list goes on an on. Kids are really expensive!

If we didn’t have children, our lives wouldn’t be as stressful as if we did. Right now we have two Labrador retrievers that are like our children. Sometimes they are so naughty I can feel my blood pressure rise! I can only imagine the stress children would bring to daily life. With myself and my husband both being in management, we lead stressful professional lives. Why add more stress onto our daily routines and onto our marriage as well if we could choose not to?

If we don’t have children, I think I will always wish that I did. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering how it would be if we had children. I don’t want to grow old and then resent my choice to be child free. I know a couple that tried and tried to have a baby, and after a few years they gave up. She didn’t want to undergo any more fertility treatments, and they chose not to adopt. Now she wishes she had gone the extra step. I don’t want to be like that, but I also don’t want to resent the choice to have a baby.

It’s such a hard choice, and one that cannot be taken lightly. I think this is the biggest decision anyone can make in their life. Being responsible for another human being is the ultimate responsibility. While it may be good when it comes to tax time, I’m also being realistic and will be as sure as I possibly can when it comes down to the wire. Does (or did) money affect your decision to have a child?

Ashley here:  I think it’s impossible to make the decision to have kids with a rational mind.  It’s not a rational decision.  There is NO reason to have kids if you are going to sit down and make pros and cons list.  I can’t think of any pros.  Less money, less time, less sleep, more stress, more chaos, more responsibility.  But to me, it’s what life is all about.  Life isn’t about how much money you have when you die, how many fancy vacations you took, or what kind of car is parked in front of your big house.  It’s about loving, giving, having a family, growing, learning, and experiencing.  And having kids gives you all those things in a way that money never will.  I couldn’t live my life without ever seeing my child on Christmas morning, or watching those first wobbly steps, or waking up at 2 am to clean puke off the rug.  (Ok, maybe I could do without that last one.)

pic by: peasap

Not the Jet Set wrote about how to save money on Halloween today.  I left a comment about how I loved to have homemade costumes as a kid.  If done right they are way cooler than store bought plastic masks and ill fitting thin fabric jumpsuits.

Here are some things I’ve been over the years…

Pipi Longstocking:  This one was my favorite.  I had long hair and my mom untwisted a wire hanger and made a frame to braid my hair around.  It went over my head like a head band and then straight out at the sides.  She braided my hair around the wire so I had a braid sticking out the each side of my head.  Then she used the spray on hair paint to paint it red.  I wore a plaid skirt, a misbuttoned sweater, and mismatched socks.  It was a big hit!

A UFO:  I went through an alien loving stage in about second grade.  What can I say?  I cardboard box painted like a UFO was all I needed that year.

A clown:  A clown wig, big shoes, crazy clothes, and lots of face paint.  Easy enough.

A Hobo: Some mismatched dirty looking clothes, some paint to make your face look dirty, mess up your hair, maybe even a stick with a bag tied to the end for the final touch.

A lamp on a table: I made this costume myself.  I took two half circles of cardboard and put them around my waist to make a table.  A long table cloth to cover the cardboard and my legs.  I wore a big sweatshirt that I stuffed around my belly to give me kind of a lamp shape.  And, of course, a lampshade on my head.  I should have painted my face yellow like a light bulb.  I didn’t think of that til just now.  lol.

I know there were others but those are the ones that stick out in my memory the most.  I really want to make my son’s costume this year.  He is only 2, he doesn’t care what he dresses up as.  Last year he was a puppy, the year before that he was Yoda.   I kinda want him to be a pirate this year.  Arrr Matey!  I’ll have to think of what I can do for that.  I’ve gotten as far as an eye patch.

Help me out.  What are some home made costumes that you’ve loved?  How did you make them?

I talked about the $196 I paid to get my daughter ready for school. I wish that was the end of the school expenses. I just paid another $195 for after school activities for this semester.

Last year she participated in an after school art program called Young Rembrandts that she just loved. It was absolutely her favorite part of school last year. So I would really like to keep her involved with it. I think art is an important part of life, it’s really something that you can alway have as part of your life no matter what. I like that it’s something you can do alone. So when you are feeling bored and lonely you can head upstairs and draw. And it’s an outlet for your emotions, which can be especially important when you’re growing up. (Yes, the pic is one of her drawings from class, apparently she was feeling a bit frustrated with me. lol.) That costs $140 for 12 one hour lessons.

Then my neighbor called and said she was putting her daughter into Cheer. My daughter loves her daughter and I really have intended to get her into Cheer so I went ahead and signed her up for that too. I think they will really like to be in an activity together. They could be really good friends. Plus I would like to get her into a physical activity. So that costs $55 for 6 one hour lessons.

I might sign her up for something next semester, I might not. I haven’t decided yet. I’m sure she will want to do the drawing class again. But it’s so expensive, I’ll have to see how it goes.

Related Posts:

Saying no to your kids

Chores and allowance

Teaching kids about savings

I’ve mentioned before about how my daughter’s school uses a debit card type of thing for lunch money. I think it’s a wonderful idea. You don’t have to worry about your child losing the money. They can’t skip lunch and buy something else. There’s no more bullies beating people up for their lunch money. (Is that just in movies?) It’s great.

The other day I got to see another reason why it’s good. It’s practice for real, grown up life. My daughter asked me if she could by her lunch the next day. She is fairly picky about what she eats, so I was hesitant.

“What are they serving?” I asked.

“I don’t know. If it’s something I don’t like I’ll just get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“No, I’m not going to pay $2 for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can put a sandwich in your lunch bag.”

“It doesn’t cost $2!”

“Yes it does. It costs $2 to buy lunch at school.”

“No it doesn’t. I have a card. I just buy lunch with my card.” She says this like I’m an idiot. lol.

“Yes it does, sweetie. I gave your school $100 for you to buy lunches and drinks with. When you use your card they take money away from the $100 I gave them.” She was shocked!

I went on to explain the same thing happens when I use my card at the store. That my husband’s job puts money in the bank for us. When I use my card to buy something the store asks the bank for some of our money. She honestly couldn’t believe it. I guess she thought everything was free. Just put it on the card!

Related posts:

A kids lesson in mortgages

A trip to the store

Kids and savings

So we’ve officially made the switch over to the new allowance system. It’s going great. I went to Michaels and got her a little wooden box to put the tickets in. I was going to wait until she painted it to post an update so I could show you the box, but that is taking forever. So here is a picture of it unpainted. Soon it will be a rainbow of psychedelic colors. I also couldn’t find raffle tickets anywhere and they were like $20 online with shipping, so I just made my own tickets. I got some scrapbook paper and cut 2×1 inch rectangles. She loves them. Even more than real raffle tickets I think. So the whole set up cost me less than $3.

She is really loving this new system. She likes getting the tickets and putting them in the box. I like that she has more motivation to do her chores and that she is getting credit for them every time. I also like that I can say “If you do [helpful thing] I’ll give you a ticket.” And that is very motivating too. She really wants those tickets!

I was kinda worried that she wouldn’t understand that the tickets represent real money. But yesterday she wanted to take a dollar to school for a drink and she thought I was giving her the allowance she had earned. So I know she does get it. Even though I’m not mean enough to make her spend her allowance on lunch.  Since she’s six I’ll still buy her food.

Today is the first day of school for my daughter. The first day of first grade. Awww….

I’ve been keeping a running tally of what it costs to get a little one ready for school. I’m very lucky in that my ex mother in law loves to buy my daughter clothes, so I got 4 outfits and 2 pairs of shoes for free. Her other grandma also brought over some school supplies, like crayons and folders and whatnot. But even with that I still spent a grand total of $196.

The breakdown…

Backpack - $10

Lunch box - $8

Supplies - $22

Clothes - $56

Lunch money - $100

About the lunch money: I don’t know if they do this everywhere but at my daughter’s school they have a debit card type thing and the parent loads the card online. The bad part is that they charge a fee each time you load it. So I put enough on there to, hopefully, last all year. She normally takes her lunch, but buys a drink everyday. And I let her buy lunch on special days.

I know I got off cheap in the clothing department. Just sneakers alone can cost $56. My ex mother in law spent at least $200 I’m sure. So “Thank you Grandma!”. Also, I didn’t buy her any pants since it’s still too hot for pants and I want to wait til she needs them. The last thing I want is for her to out grow her clothes before she even gets a chance to wear them! So I’m sure she will need more clothing before the year is done.

But one thing is clear… our schools need more money. The supply list shows how desperate the teachers are for supplies. Things like tissues and paper towels should be paid for by the school, in my opinion. I shouldn’t have to supply printer paper, windex, hand sanitizer, and zip lock bags. It’s really sad that our schools are so underfunded. Don’t get me wrong, if the teacher needs these things then I’m happy to provide them. I got every single thing on the list. It’s just terrible to watch these people who are doing one of the most important jobs in society struggling to get the things they need.

Pic by: alberto.quaglia

I’ve been thinking about how we issue allowance in our house. The way it is now is that my daughter has 5 chores (make her bed, clean her room, unload the dishwasher, pick up family room, clear the table) and there is a chart on the fridge with all 5 chores listed. Each time she does one we put a magnet next to that chore. When she has done all the chores 5 times she gets $5.

The problem lies in that some chores, like clean her room, don’t get done every day. Which is ok, but then it’s not motivating for her to do her other chores. For example, its very often that all the chores have 5 magnets except for cleaning her room. Cleaning her room will only have one magnet. So then there is no reason for her to do any more chores until she has cleaned her room another 4 times. See what I’m saying?

Another problem is that we don’t have anything that she does just for the good of the house. Potentially, she gets paid for every thing she does around here. Now that she’s older I think I could give her some more difficult chores and have her not get paid for the simple things, like making her bed.

This little problem has been on the back burner for the last few months. I finally have a solution I’m going to try. The first thing I’m going to do is change the chores a bit. I’m taking away clearing the table and making her bed. She still needs to do those things, she just isn’t going to get paid for them anymore. Then I’m going to add drying the dishes and wiping down the bathroom counter. Finally, I’m going to get a roll of raffle tickets from the craft store and a jar. Then each time she does a chore she will earn a ticket. She can trade the tickets in for money. Maybe a quarter each?

That’s the plan. I think it will work better since she will get a more immediate reward for doing her chores and get credit every time she does a chore.

Update

Pic by: alycat

Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch, laptop on lap, cartoons blaring and my daughter asked me a question. I honestly can’t even remember what it was, but my answer had the word “mortgage” in it. She nodded like she understood and went back to watching her cartoons. I could have let the moment pass and gone back to whatever I was doing. But I didn’t…

“Do you know what a mortgage is?” I asked.

“No.” she replied.

“Well, houses are very very expensive and lots of people don’t have enough money to buy one. So the bank will give them the money and they have to pay it back. Does that make sense?”

She nodded and I didn’t know if she understood, or if she was even listening. But later that night, out of nowhere, she said…

“When I get big I’m going to have the bank help me buy a house.”

“Cool.” I said giggling.

“How do you do that?”

“Well, you have to ask them if they will help you. And then they either say yes, or no.”

“And then what?”

“Well, if they say yes then the bank gives the person who is selling the house the money. And they send you a bill every month and you have to pay them back a little bit every month.”

“And what if you don’t want to have the bank help you?”

“Then you have to give all the money to the person selling the house by yourself.”

At first I thought 6 years old might be too young to start talking about mortgages. I mean, jeeze, she doesn’t even understand the concept of change yet. But clearly she did get something out of it. She was still thinking about it hours later. I didn’t want to get all crazy and talk about interest and down payments so I left that part out. I want so badly for her to understand all the ins and outs of personal finance, and I want her to understand it early. Early enough that she can keep herself out of trouble before she even earns her first dollar.

I want to get back to the concept of change real quick: The other day she bought herself a little something with her allowance and she got about 80 cents in change. We were walking out to the car and she said “Wohoo, I’m getting rich!” as she put her change into her pocket. lol. Clearly I have more work to do!

I have an interesting little situation brewing. My son is getting spoiled. Well not “getting” spoiled. He is spoiled. In general I do pretty well at not buying the kids something every time we go to the store. I say “No” about 99% of the time. But recently I’ve been slipping with my son.

I’ve been picking up little things for him when we are out. A teddy bear here, a coloring book there, I didn’t think much of it. But apparently my son thinks it’s a new habit. We went to Wal-mart yesterday and he just went around the store picking out things he would like. A Backyardigans DVD, a Curious George T-shirt, a Mickey Mouse balloon, all shot down by mean ole’ mom. But it really came to a head when he picked out a pack of strawberry flavored Mentos and put them up by the cash register. When we went to leave my son was just stunned that he wasn’t getting his candy. We had quite the scene. I was glad we were near the door.

While he got over quickly and was being his normal silly self by the time the sun was shining on us, I can see how easily parents fall into their trap. It’s so easy to think, “Well, it’s only 50 cents and it’s not worth the fit he’s going to throw. I’ll just get them.” You are being manipulated! Obviously, my son wasn’t that upset. It was less than a minute of screaming. I know what you’re thinking. “But my kid will scream all the way home.” I believe you. I really do. My kid can throw some monster fits when he gets going. But if you’re serious about breaking this habit there are a couple of things you can do.

Before you go into the store, let them know they will not be getting a toy. This works wonders on my daughter. If she knows what to expect ahead of time she behaves a lot better. Then when they pick something up, gently remind them that they won’t be getting anything today. If you are there to buy them something specific then let them know that. “We are here to get you one pair of shoes and nothing else.” Then stick to it.

Ignore their fits. Just simply ignore them. This is the hard part, but it’s also the important part. Don’t feel bad that they are crying over not getting the impulse buy of their choice. Think about where this fit throwing is headed, right now they are screaming over a pack of Pokemon cards, in 10 years it’s going to be over a car. Where are you going to draw the line? If you need some motivation in this department read Do your kids a favor by saying no over at Remodeling this Life. She wrote a great post about what happens when you don’t say no.

Be consistent. Consistency is key. Every time you give in you are giving your kids power. If they think the fit throwing is going to work even one out of 10 times then they will keep doing it. They need to know that it’s not going work… ever! If this means you have to plan your trips so you can go alone then do it. Toys R Us probably isn’t a good idea right now. That doesn’t mean that you will never be able to buy your kids something without a plan. Someday you will, and when that day comes your kids will actually appreciate it! You will be giving to them out of love, rather than fear. Won’t that be a great day!

pic by: KpucmuHa