As you know, I just got back from spending a few days with my dad.   My dad provides more blogging fodder than anyone I know.

My dad makes a good living.  He owns a couple of profitable businesses and has worked very hard his whole life for what he has.  I’m his only biological child. He got married about 9 years ago to a woman who had a 13 year old son (he’s 22 now).

My dad is fairly frugal, but my step mom always has the best most fanciest things.  Name brand everything.  Shoes, bags, belts, watches, sunglasses, cars, vacations, you name it.  Ok, fine.  Not how I would choose to spend money, but whatever.  I know my dad pays all the living expenses and she works so all her money is spending money.  I really don’t care how they handle their finances and if my dad wants his wife to have fancy things then so be it.  It’s not my business.

I met my step brother’s wife for the first time this week.  I couldn’t help but notice that she was also dripping in the best of the best of everything.  Think Paris Hilton here, complete with little dog.  Prada belt, Manolo Blanhnik shoes, diamond encrusted watch, brands I’ve never even heard of which I’m sure are  expensive.  I looked like I had just crawled out from under a bridge compared to her. I’m sure my entire outfit cost less than her haircut.  So at one point I casually ask my dad what my step brother and wife do for a living.  I already knew they lived with him.  Know what they do?  They are both unemployed.  NICE.  Come to find out that my step brother hasn’t even graduated from high school.

So that really irked me.  Where’s my Prada belt?  Where are my shopping sprees in Las Vegas?  Where are my month long Hawaii vacations?  Last year they (step brother and wife) went to L.A. for three months because they were going to become actors.  Hahaha.  Which my dad paid for, of course.

And these are not the only people my dad is supporting.  He also supports my Grandma, Uncle, and a cousin, all of which are also unemployed.  And I know he also sends regular money to his in laws.  I’m assuming they don’t have jobs since they are probably in their 70’s.

So my dad supports at least 8 people (his wife, step son, daughter in law, mother, brother, niece, father in law, and mother in law).  There may be more.  I don’t know who lives with his mother and father in law.  I think they have a son who lives with them so maybe throw him in there too (I know he doesn’t have a job, he’s disabled).  But of those 8 people only 1 definitely has a job.

Honestly, supporting his in laws and even my grandma doesn’t bother me so much.  But my step brother and his wife, my uncle and his daughter that does bother me.  There is just no reason for it.  No reason!

Here’s the hard part.  I don’t want my dad to send me money.  I’m not looking to get on his payroll.  (Which is probably why I’m not on it)  When my dad sends me money I appreciate it.  But I don’t expect (or want) him to pay my bills.  I want to be an adult and earn my own way.  I want to own things I can afford.  But it’s frustrating to have my dad helping out so many people and not be one of them.  I would think I would have some bling before my step sister in law.  You know?  Maybe I could get some money before my loser uncle who is 50 years old and still living with his mom.  I’m just sayin’.

I guess my question is when does it become your business how your fully functioning parent spends their money? When do you get to say “Hey, what the heck is going on here?”  Do you ever get to say that?  What good would it even do?

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I wrote the above post a few days ago but wanted to let it rest for awhile and see if I could get a fresh perspective on things.  I don’t want to sound like a whiny ungrateful “b”.  My dad does send me money on occasions like Christmas, birthdays, ect.  Sometimes just out of the blue.  I am very grateful for it and always put it to good use.  He really has helped me out in lots of ways over my life.  If I wanted fancy things I could certainly use the money he gives me to buy them.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I feel like people are taking advantage.  I guess that’s what my problem is.  People think he is just an endless supply of money and since he is so generous they just take and take and take, and it pisses me off.  I don’t see why perfectly functioning adult should be being supported by his brother.  Does that make sense?  Why does a married 22 year old couple need to live off their parents?  Because they can, that’s why.

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