It got two phone calls this weekend that were so similar and yet so opposite, and it all came down to how my friends had handled their money.

The first was a celebratory call from a friend that her divorce was final.  They separated over a year ago because she had caught him cheating.  She was still reeling from that news when found out he had racked several thousand dollars in credit card debt behind her back, including opening some cards in her name that she didn’t know about.  She kicked him out.  I don’t remember the details but for some reason their house was already behind in mortgage payments.  I think the adjustable rate had reset and they couldn’t refinance or sell.  (You know the story there.) So she just stayed in the house for as long as possible.  One day she got a letter that said she had to be out in 24 hours.  So she moved into a one bedroom apartment with her son and started putting her life back together.

The second call was from another friend who just recently found out her husband is cheating.  The difference here is that she can’t kick him out.  She hasn’t worked in 10 years.  She has no marketable skills what so ever.  She would love to be able to tell him to leave, but she needs his money.  Her husband can’t afford to maintain two households, honestly, he can barely afford to maintain the one they have.  So she is staying.  She has already looked into a nurses aid program that is 6 weeks long and starts in January.  When she gets out she will be able to make $16 an hour.  Is that enough to support herself and 3 boys?  I don’t know.  But even if it is, it means staying in a situation she doesn’t want to be in for probably 6 months or so.  Obviously not ideal.

So what’s the point?  I don’t know… it just struck me as odd that I got both these phone calls in the same weekend.  One wife had kept her financial independence and as a result was able to stand up for herself when her marriage didn’t work out.  The other wife was financially dependent and is now forced to stay in a marriage she doesn’t want to be in.

I sound like a hypocrite today, being a stay at home mom and all.

pic by: M Salah RiddleR

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