I’m falling in love! It all started with a wandering trip through Costco. I’m sure I was there for milk or something when my eye caught site of him, Mr. Elliptical. I just fell in love with all his calorie burning goodness. So pretty yet so powerful. At first I would go down his aisle at every Costco trip, just to say “hi”. Then I realized I was thinking about him even when I wasn’t at Costco. I yearned to spend some quality time with him while my son napped. I would fantasize about ways we could be together. And that’s when I knew I had to break up with Mr. Elliptical before things got too serious. But I guess he missed me, because he moved out to an end cap shortly afterwards. Then I couldn’t avoid his stares. His calls. His quick target toning and power incline ramp. It’s just too much. I don’t know how much longer I can resist!

The problem is that I am currently seeing other items. I just recently got out of a fling with some bedroom furniture. I’ve been promising a mattress that we would get together just as soon I can. And I have been avoiding Mr. Grand Canyon Trip all summer long. I’m sure I will have to return his calls before winter.

So what is a girl to do?

I can’t possibly save up enough to meet the demands of all my beaus. I’m hoping that Mr. Elliptical finds someone else soon. His promises of happiness are hard to ignore. I just don’t know if I can trust him. If I knew that he would make good on all his promises I might just have to succumb to desire. But I’m afraid that he will become aloof and unavailable once he moves in. More interested in collecting dust than being the powerhouse I know he his.