An honest look at family finances
23 Jul
I have a friend who always is complaining about not having any money. Always. And yet she is constantly misses opportunities to change her situation. I don’t get it. It makes me a little crazy.
When I first met her I was impressed by their financial situation. Not because they have fancy things, quite the opposite in fact. She is a full time student but takes all her classes on line so she can be home with her son. She also babysits part time for a child with special needs. They live in old army barracks that have been turned into student housing for students who have children. And they only have one car, which her husband takes to work. She’s a smart girl, it seemed to me that they really had their stuff together. They were making sacrifices and doing what they had to do to get by while she finished school. I was impressed by that.
Come to find out that isn’t really the whole story. First off, she takes more student loans than she actually needs and they live on the excess. That kinda rubs me the wrong way, but I know lots of people do that. In a perfect world everyone would only finance their books and tuition, not their groceries. I found this out because she had planned a huge blow out birthday party for her son. And then told me she couldn’t have it because she wasn’t getting as much in her student loan as she wanted. I cringed. She wanted to finance a birthday party for a two year old.
The reason they only have one junker car is because their credit is horrible and they won’t save enough money to buy another one with cash. Horrible credit means more financial irresponsibility in the past. I don’t know the story here, but I have a feeling if I asked she would tell me a story about why it’s not her fault.
She was telling me recently that the dentist advised her to start saving up for braces for her son. She told me she can’t possibly save any money. “Maybe when we are making more.” She said. But two minutes before that she was telling me about her son’s third birthday party. And how you can rent the whole bouncy place for “only $400″. Gulp! What! She can’t save for braces but she can spend over $400 on a party? This is what I’m talking about. Another missed opportunity. When the day comes and her son needs braces she will again complain about how expensive braces are and how she can’t possibly afford them. Will she remember that 10 years earlier she was told to start saving?
I guess what’s frustrating is that she is half way to being in a good position. Her living expenses are very low. All she needs to do now is plug the holes. It really wouldn’t be much of a lifestyle change. She just needs a budget and some goals.
Are you missing opportunities to turn your situation around?
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4 Responses for "Missed Opportunities"
While I agree using student loans to finance a child’s birthday party is irresponsible, student loans are absolutely intended (and often necessary) to cover living expenses, like groceries and rent. I knew very few people in law school who actually had student loans just for books and tuition.
I’m agonizing over whether to take out another $8500 in student loans and she’s spending it on living? Ours is solely for tuition to boot!
I am in the camp of we have $17k in student loans but we’ve paid over $40k in tuition to go along with 2 years of subsidized stafford loans!
Again we are considering getting a student loan, we had made it a goal this year to NOT take it but I’m not sure if we can make the goal.
Wow I don’t understand people who spend so much $ on their children’s b-day at that young age. Maybe their 1st B-day I could understand but at 3? Is the kid really gonna remember that? Have it in your backyard, park or a friends place
i think that would frustrate me, too! i have a friend who lost her job shortly after i lost mine (mine in march, her in april - both members of management in the same company, weird, no?). she has 2 sons, just got married to a man who has 3 children from his first marriage…and they are expecting a baby in 2 weeks. now…with 6 kids between the two of them, and him the only one working, they don’t have much money. i’ve started doing the drugstore game (getting personal care items for free after rebates or close to free with coupons/sales at Rite Aid and Walgreens) and I’ve told her about how she can do it, too. but she won’t. over the past month i’ve stocked up on enough shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, razors, toothbrushes, mouthwash and other toiletries to last us the next YEAR (and for VERY cheap with little out of pocket). i don’t see why she wouldn’t jump on the chance. buying all that stuff for a family of 8 is kind of ridiculous, don’t you think?
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